Showing posts with label mine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mine. Show all posts

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Because You Can Never Be Prepared Enough and He Has to Run Free

No matter how hard you try, you can never be prepared enough for death. You say you're okay, say you're fine, say it's going to be fine, but there are some losses that are bigger than the others, far wider than what you could grasp.

Sometimes, you have all these dreams and they could be shattered just because life throws itself at you and you have to deal with it. Sometimes, you have all these plans and because of death, they'll never come to life again.

They say you have to let the ones you love go because sometimes, that's the only way for them to be happy and free. And you try, because you know that there's no other way--but you're left with a hole in your heart and the feeling that you'll never be okay again.

But of course, you'll be. Sooner or later, you'll be.

But things will never be the same again.

Why do the ones you love have to go when you're not ready, anyway?

When exactly are you going to be ready, anyway?


Bye, Kitty. Fly in Peace. x
(May 2013 to January 30, 2014)


Sunday, January 18, 2015

This Week's Realizations

1. When you're in your (ew) late 20's, there may be times when you'd feel like...Shit, I am getting old and I am still THIS person. Sometimes, those thoughts hit you and will make you feel every bit as real as you should feel. And you know how that feels? It sometimes feels...awful. Because well, reality does bite after all. It's like, you begin to dissect each and every single thing you've done in your life and wonder how on earth you got to where you are.You know how in OTH they were like, "Yesterday is today and someday is today" and all that? Yeah, that's how it feels.

2. Adulthood is also about coming to terms with the fact that not everything is black and white--and you have beliefs that some people may not understand, but well, they're your beliefs, either way. 

3. Your family is not only limited to those who bore and clothed you; Sometimes, you get to choose your own family, and that's alright, too. 

4. You can get tired of something you love, but you can always try to get back on track in your own little ways. (And no, I am not talking about relationships)

5. People have different ways of showing you that they love you. 

6. And, I still feel happy and giddy every time someone tells me that they appreciate what I do, or how I write.  (Not the work related kind). This one's for you, Ate Anna. :) Thank you for reminding me about what I love doing the most. Back in school, I always thought of you as super like, hard to reach because you're so smart and all that, and we weren't really close back then, but over the years, you have become one of my favorite people because you're amazing, and you're real, and I really like the way you write, too. So deep and profound. 

Happy Sunday, darlings. xx


Thursday, February 20, 2014

Something New

"Are you pregnant?" Karen asked Emma, her best friend since kindergarten while at one of the uber-sophisticated, air-conditioned restrooms at Luna East. This one was at the fifth floor of the Arts building though, one that not a lot of students use. Emma immediately got out of the cubicle that she was in as she heard Emma puking yet again. She straightened her skirt and grabbed Emma by the arm before asking the dreaded question.

"Are you effin' pregnant?" She said, with much more strength this time, not minding if anyone would hear.

"Can you shut up?" Emma said, turning off the faucet after splashing some water on her face.

"You're throwing up again."

"I'm not pregnant, K," Emma said, "I just had too much to eat."

"Oh," Karen said, "Okay." She said nonchalantly, as if the fact that Emma just said that she was throwing up because of eating too much is not something to be worried about. At least she's not pregnant, Karen thought, an eating disorder is better. She and Emma then left the restroom.

**

Margot hastily got out of the cubicle as soon as Karen and Emma left. She hated those moments when some girls enter the restroom and go on with their tattletales, and superficial lives.Who would not get worried knowing that her friend has been purging? Margot shook her head.

She hated those moments when she had to stop reading whatever novel she was reading just because of those noisy teenage girls who knew nothing about life. Not that she knew everything, but at least she didn't have to throw up after eating, or worry about getting pregnant before graduating from high school because there's just so much to do.

Like, being part of the arts and crafts club. Or, immersing herself in the newest Maria Semple or David Levithan read. Or listening to The Smiths on her worn out iPod mini, one that she has not given up for around eight years now. What for? It still works, and she just doesn't like those new gadgets. You buy one today and you have to change it again in a few months or so because it's no longer "new". There's a lot of better use for money than that.

She glanced at her watch. It was 2:00 in the afternoon already. She had classes in an hour, and she was getting hungry. Yep, she's one of those girls who actually eats because she likes it and she actually doesn't mind gaining weight. She doesn't though. She's also one of those girls who have very fast metabolism, and that's why people often think that she's on a diet or that she's starving herself. She HATES feeling that way. But then again, what could she do? Damned if you do, damned if you don't, anyway.


She made her way out of the restroom, heavy Polka-dotted bag and a couple of books in hand, and bumped into Ronan. He transferred to Luna East from rival school Preston High just last year, their junior year in High School. He was tall, with Blue eyes, Dark, Chestnut Brown hair and an overwhelming presence because of his Half-Brit heritage. They have never spoken before, but she knew a lot about him. How could she not, when almost every girl in school talks about him like he's a god?

"Margot," He said.

She raised an eyebrow, her defense mechanism for awkward situations like this. "Why do you know my name?" She said as she picked up her books. Ronan bent down to help her, too.

"We were classmates, weren't we? Intro to Interior Design?" Yep, they had classes such as Interior Design because Luna East was an Arts School. And that's why it's awesome.

"Yeah, but--" She said as she placed the books one by one back in her bag.

"I paid attention," Ronan said, "here," he said, handing her Maria Semple's "Where'd You Go, Bernadette?" and then getting it back, "Wait, I haven't read this one."

"Go buy one."

"Aren't you willing to lend this to me?"

She took a deep breath and rolled her eyes, "Ronan," she said, "We're not friends."

"Maybe," he said, "but we can be."

"Why would we be?"

"Aren't you willing to try something new?"

"What is it to you?"

"Nothing," he said, "Just being friendly." He smiled and then rummaged through his sling bag, "Tell you what," he said,"I'll lend you this," he handed her a copy of Don Winslow's "Savages", "I know you haven't read that."

"How do you know?"

"I stalk you on Goodreads."

She rolled her eyes again. She barely checks the friend requests on her Goodreads page. "You're insane," she said.

"Maybe," he said, "or maybe I just want to be friends with you."

For some reason, this made her smile lightly, "Fine," she said, accepting the book, "I'll return this to you in three days. Make sure you finish that book, too."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Maybe," she smiled.

He chuckled, "What's your number?"

She shook her head, took a mini notebook from her bag and wrote down her number on a page. She tore the page and gave it to Ronan.

"Thanks," he said, "See you in three days."

"Fine, fine," she said and started to walk away. She opened the first page of the book that Ronan lent her, and saw that something was written on it.

I've been wanting to lend this to you for a while now, but I have no idea how to reach you. So, yeah, I've been keeping this in my bag, in the hopes that I'd have a chance to talk to you each day. Creepy? Sorry.

Hope you're willing to try something new. 

Ronan

She glanced back at him and caught his eye. They shared a smile. Well, it was clearly the start of something new...

___________________________________________________________

Haha! Tried writing a story for Luna East, darlings.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, then check THIS out. 

And join the raffle HERE. 




Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Stay the Night: Sneak Peak + a little Collab surprise!

So, I told you guys last night that I'm working on something for #BuqoSteamyReads, right? Well, tonight I finally started working on it, and even came up with a title (Stay the Night)--which I'm not sure if I should stick with, but we'll see, we'll see...

Anyway, here's a little sneak peak of what I've been writing...


Okay, kids, sorry for corrupting your precious minds. HAHA!

Oh, and another fun fact: Miss Anne Plaza, author of "In Over her Head" and I decided to make our Alpha Males BFFs since they both own a resort! Tee-hee! This is going to be so much fun! 

So, there, watch out for this soon and Thank You! :)


Friday, November 29, 2013

Ending November

I can't believe tomorrow's the last day of November! This month seriously just came and went and it's been busy, busy, busy but good, good, good. Of course, there were cray moments and sad moments and sad days and bad days but oh well, that's how life goes. This month was full of writing, reading, CATCHING FIRE, more writing, blog tours, mall trips, celebrations, food, good music (Hunger Games Soundtrack + Lorde  + Perfume), pets who left, pets who were found, pets who have stayed, surprises and what-nots.

I'd have to say though that this week, I feel like I have spread myself a little too thinly. But thank God I was still able to do what needs to be done. Crazy hectic week though and my lazybones (for some reasons I feel like I've been slacking although that can't possibly be true since for today I've written like 5,000+ words, and other days, even more then that, but you know, sometimes you feel like there's so much more you can give and you do not seem at your best and it sucks...)

Anyway. This week also brought some crazy good news:

I've made it to #BuqoSteamyReads, an online creative writing class spearheaded by the awesome Miss Mina V. Esguerra. Classes will start in January but I'm already excited.

So yes, amidst the cray cray things, November was a good month. Let's leave it at that. :)

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Some things that the first half of November taught me


1. It indeed is proving to be a very busy, busy month. But I like it. I like being productive.

2. Down times make me think too much.

3. I can eat Sampaloc everyday.

4. I like giving gifts...and yeah, being cheesy, too.

5. Sometimes, you really do grow apart from your friends.

6. I doodle too much. And I still love drawing.

7.  Losing pets is never, ever, ever easy.

8. But sometimes, miracles happen.

Meet...er, our unnamed cat. haha. Found him a day after one of our cats died. And you know what the ironic, but good part is? He looks exactly like our cat who died! He's such a blessing.


9. I can develop a love for hardbound books, but only if the jacket says something interesting about the book and the book itself is soooo pretty.


9. I can develop a love for hardbound books, but only if the jacket says something interesting about the book and the book itself is soooo pretty.

10. Books are not just my luxury, but my necessity, too.

11. I want Lorde's voice! Or Ellie Goulding's! or Ariana Grande's! (hahaha)

12. Can't wait for Catching Fire!

13. Some changes are for the better. 

14. Jolibee's Buttered Corn is awesome.


15. Still addicted to dresses.

16. There's still so much more to learn. 

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Hello November! (quick update)

The start of November seems to be good. I believe that it's always good to start a month fresh; to start a month in the best possible way and to feel like you have so much to look forward to. Hlaf of october, or mostly the last two weeks have been CRAAAAAAY but I think this month will be great. Received some good news to start this month: First, I was promoted in one of my side jobs and that really makes me feel good and now, I'm also one of Readwave's Staff Reviewers! It's always amazing to be able to do what you like and to have people who believe in you.

I've also been listening to Katy Perry's By the Grace of God so much and it's really something good. I'm not a religious person and I guess you can say that I'm pretty much agnostic but this song says so much about me. I'm a firm believer that a relationship with God or a Higher Power is better than "faking" being faithful by being "religious" but you know..to each his own. Anyway, here are some of the lyrics:

Thought I wasn’t enough
Found I wasn’t so tough
Layin’ on the bathroom floor
We were living on a fault line
And I felt the fault was all mine
Couldn’t take it anymore

By the grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Wasn’t gonna let love take me out that way


We've also been reorganizing our shelves a lot since there are too many books and magazines already. Photo above is not the finished version. haha. Will update when we finally have those things re-arranged again.

Expect a lot from me this month! More books to review and ohmygod, haven't updated my Titanium Fanfic much but hang in there, readers, it'll be worth the wait.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Just a few things..


Turning 25 brought with it a couple of things--the realization that you really can no longer go back; the realization that you can do so much more; the realization that you can still be who you want to be.

You also realize that you no longer need to try to ask for people's affection or attention; that you don't need to try to become what they want you to be; that you can be yourself--even though there are complications, even though there are consequences.

You don't need people in your life who'd only make you feel bad about yourself. You don't need their approval. At the end of the day, it's your life, not theirs.

Monday, September 30, 2013

It's the first of October and...

And it already proves to be a busy, busy day! But it's okay. I like busy. Sometimes, I like this kind of busy because this kind of busy makes me feel productive and creative at the same time and not a lot of people can say that, so I'm thankful for times like this.

So, this morning I tracked by tracked Miley Cyrus's BANGERZ and boy oh boy did it turn out to be good. I actually feel her pain in some of the songs. Favorite track would have to be "F.U." simply because well...the lyrics are so to the point.

"I've got two letters for you: One of them's F, one of them's U." 

And then there's Britney's Work Bitch MV...but that's coming tomorrow. So excited!

(yeah yeah this is basically a fangirling post)

Anyway, I also worked on some reviews today for some upcoming book tours in this blog (see list here) and then I also have some beta-reading to do, plus some articles to write...Finished one this morning, so, good for me.

And because it's October, my birthday is comin up soon! 17 days! 17 days and I'll be (eek) older. I wrote something about that, will probably post later...or soon, whatever.

(And I am so craving for Ice Cream right now. And burgers. yes, burgers.)

And speaking of by birthday, I really want to re-create Katy's Billboard Photo Shoot for that day. She just looks so lovely (not that I wish I could just suddenly grow her face, but you know) and I love flowers and butterflies and yeah well...

Just look at these:



That's why I want to go to that park...and eat, eat, eat.

Yeah, I'm in the mood to pig-out. Real bad. 



Friday, September 20, 2013

Home

Sometimes I tell myself not to crumble, not to fall.
I tell myself to keep on holding myself up; not to fall back from grace; to stay still.
Sometimes it's hard.

Sometimes, I wish I could somehow go back.
But there's nothing to come back to anymore.

If I do, it would all be the same.
If I do, then this year would've been nothing.

Because, even if I somehow yearn for that place,
nothing's just the same anymore.

Cheer up, child. Don't crumble. Don't quit.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

September.


  Two weeks gone and this month already has so much promise. I've never been a fan of September. I don't know, there's just something about the month that spells...sad. But this year, it's like, September opened up so many possibilities--both good and bad.
I've been writing a lot of articles this month and to be honest, I feel like it's the first month this year where I felt like...I'm finally trying to rebuild my life again after the mess that last year was. It feels good, you know? To feel like I'm able to do something again. To feel like I'm being productive again and that I feel better about myself again. 
Also, I've started doing book reviews for some book tours and it feels great. More lined up soon.
But of course there are some sad moments about September, too. Like, the fact that we lost three kittens this month. I've never lost such a number of pets in a month, more so in a week. To be honest, I still haven't moved on from that. Some nights, I still feel like crying because those pets have been my life for the past couple of months and then just like that, they died. It's never easy to deal with. Sometimes, I catch myself still waiting for them to come back. Hoping and praying that they'd come back. When you love someone, even if they're just pets, it's never easy to let them go. 
Maybe one day I'd forget, but right now, I still can't.


Friday, August 30, 2013

On PMS and Rescued Cats and the end of the month

So so so I've been PMSing recently and it's just so not cool. I really hate this time of the month. Let me elaborate the reasons why.

  1. For the past couple of months, whenever I'm about to get my period,I get terribly sick. It could be a raging fever that just sprouts out of nowhere or coughing fits or the dreaded flu. Also, I've been experiencing Asthma attacks and it's just really hard. (I just found out I've been having Premestrual Asthma and that it's common for those who have Severe Asthma conditions).
  2. It's just sooooo hot. I don't mind the cold much but when it's hot, I just...feel so cranky and it's so hard to do things when it's hot. 
  3. I swear I feel like a pregnant woman whenever I'm PMSing. Like, my heightened sense of smell is really heightened and makes me wanna gag the whole time. 
  4. All the cray cray mood swings. I'm moody to begin with so when I'm PMSing I feel all the moods coming. 
  5. Jealousy. End of Story.
***
In other news, we rescued a cat yesterday and named him Weasley. He's a cute little White with Orange patches cat who we found at the gate. He was super weak and wasn't eating but we got him to eat yesterday afternoon and now he seems fine--walks a bit and walks around now. Hope he gets even better in time. 
***
So yeah, August is almost over. Super ready for September! :)

Monday, July 22, 2013

Fourteen.

Fourteen months.
426 days.
10,226 hours.

Our love.
You.
I.
It's big.
It's complicated.
It's fragile.
Too many details. There are too many details.

Fractions of us.
You, Me.
This love.
It's bigger than us.
Bigger than the sum of our parts.

Some days it seems small.
Some days it can't be seen at all.
Some days it's hard.
Some days it doesn't seem to be.

Our love.
You and Me.

Let's bright it back to where it started.
Forget the hurt, forget the hate.
Collide, let's collide.
You and I.


Our love.

Fights, yelling, endless banter.
End it, end it, that's what we say.
Yet we stick together.
Like glue, like Velcro.

We're scared, we're scarred.
We both are.
Yet here we are.
You and I.

Fourteen months.
426 days.
You, and I.


Sunday, July 21, 2013

Just a survey...(I'm obviously bored, thank you)

1. Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now? Not really
2. Do you drink enough water? Not really
3. When was the last time you ate at Burger King? Omygod it's been too long 
4. Do you prefer the beach or the mountains? the beach 
5. How do you usually feel when you wake up on a morning? wanting to go back to sleep
6. Would you rather take someone on a date, or be taken on a date? be taken on a date, def. 
7. When was the last time you wore high heeled shoes? some few weeks back
8. Vodka or wine? wine
9. How often do you cry? haha i'm not gonna answer no 
10. Ever had a crush on a teacher?  OH YES. 
11. Can you wire a plug? huh? 
12. Do you wear socks to bed? nope
13. What is currently bugging you? so many things 
14. Where were you when you got your first period? I was in school, I think. I was like, 12 then. 
15. Can you change a car tire? nope
16. Have you met more than ten celebrities? hmmm yeah 
17. Do you sleep naked?  haha well there are times... 
18. What was the best music gig you’ve ever attended? David and David concert back in '09
19. Have you ever had sexual feelings for anyone you follow? haha no
20. Do you think Benedict Cumberbatch is hot? not a fan
21. Favourite Disney princess? Cinderella and Ariel
22. Favourite city? NYC;  Savannah, Georgia
23. Can you drive? no :(
24. Cigarettes or alcohol?  my god the last time I drank alcohol i was sooo wasted so none
25. Excercise or healthy eating? healthy eating 
26. Favourite and least favourite accents? i love Irish, Aussie, Brit, Least? None really
27. What are you looking forward to? hmm....
28. Did you play Red Rover when you were a child? no idea what that is