Monday, May 25, 2015

The Last Five Years

Quick: How do you see yourself five years from now? 

If you've ever been to a job interview, you've probably heard this question already, and have answered it with the best of your ability (I want to have a stable job, I want to have my own house, I want my novel to be published, ladida, ladida)

I'm asking this because I got to thinking, and I realized that it's been five years and like a month or so since I graduated from college. Five years since I've answered that question over and over again, like a mantra you have to repeat just so you'd get hired. Five years seem like such a long time, but everyone knows time simply just gets through our fingers, going wherever it's supposed to go. a nutshell, did those "where do you see yourself five years from now" answers came true?

I don't live at home anymore (but still don't have my "own" house per se), I do have a job that I like (of course, there are bad days but who doesn't have that with their jobs), I was able to get one of my stories published...I guess, some of those dreams came true, but probably not in the way I expected them to.

And you see, that's the thing about life: Too often, it gives you what you need, but not what you want. And when it gives you what you want, it's not really in the way you wanted it to. And sometimes, it makes you have all these questions: Will you ever really get what you want? Will you ever see yourself as successful? Will you ever think that things are already good enough?

Will you ever be good enough?

I guess, I'm just having so many doubts lately. It's hard when you feel like you're so close to your dreams, and yet, they're not coming true the way you want them to. It's hard when you somehow feel stuck. It's hard when you're not sure about the future.

But I guess, that's life. You do what you can and hope that it all works out somehow. You do what you need to survive. You do you.

And maybe someday, that'll be good enough, too.

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