So, so, so this the second part of my crazy rant last week (and maybe you can tell from my tone that I’m somehow feeling better now), but there are a few points I left and basically it all leads to this…
I kind of don’t want to be active on Facebook anymore because of the whole “I live for likes” thing. See, our society now is so obsessed with likes—and I guess, I feel guilty about it, too. And it also got to the point where it got so toxic because of the whole brouhaha about the elections and it was too much. Just too much.
Now, back to the “likes” and the NEED for them. Seriously, it’s toxic. And I know because even subconsciously, I fed on that for a while. When you post something, it’s like, let’s see who likes this, etc. Sure, you want to say your opinion, but come on, look at your feed. Check what’s going on. Check what people around you have been saying. It’s like…even simple things could be turned into a big deal simply because people want to state their long opinions every.single.time and it gets so nauseating and you feel compelled to compete, especially when you’re such an overachiever eager beaver (yeah, yeah, yeah me) and then one day, you’d just get to the point where in you’d feel…wait a minute. Why do I care so much? Do I really care this much?
It’s just that…you shouldn’t let yourself be defined by “likes”. And this is what I’m trying to wrap my head around again.
There were also moments in the past when I felt like…HUH. I had a much better post than this person and this person is getting way more likes, etc. I guess we’re all guilty of this, but then you get to realize that society feeds on popularity. It’s a bandwagoning thing. Like, (why am I using like so many times? I sound like a Kardashian lmao) because this person is supposed to be “beautiful”, or “popular”, it automatically means that this person’s posts would be liked right away. And that kind of thought eats at you, especially when you’re going through other things, and you begin to nitpick every single thing you believe is wrong with your life. And it is super unhealthy.
Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I’m giving up on social media altogether—helloooo, I can’t do that lol. Twitter’s home (and it’s where I met some of the bestest people ever especially Twitter friends circa 2010!!!!), and I still enjoy Instagram but Facebook…ugh. Every time I open it, this surge of anxiety just goes through me. I gave up Tumblr months ago when it also became toxic (although it was my home for years), but it was just too much and it was becoming so mainstream (!!!!) and it just does not work for me anymore the way it used to. Anyway, what I’m saying is that it’s okay to cut some things out of your life. It’s okay not to “compete”. It’s okay to take some time off from Facebook (try it!) and not care so much and just be in a place where you feel okay—where you feel like you can try to find yourself again, and become a better, hopefully stronger version of you. It’s okay to like what you like and not say your opinion just because everyone else is giving theirs. It’s okay to think on your own, and give proper opinions instead of comment on anything and everything just so you’d be “sikat” or so you’d sound so intelligent. But it’s also okay to voice your opinions out. To each his own.
And also…I seriously don’t want to deal with fake people anymore (not all, but there are a couple and it’s just not worth it to give your time and effort for people who don’t care)
I guess I’m just tired of it at the moment but I’d probably get back some other time, but it’s also quite refreshing to be away from it for a while—it’s the closest thing you can get in place of a vacation!
And also…there’s more to life than caring for events that don’t really make you feel good anymore. There is a time to rest, even from your passions—you still have them inside you, after all, and you can always dream new dreams, and you can get back to them when you feel like you’re ready. Not when you’re tired and tired and tired. Work on your own pace, this is what I keep reminding myself now.
And another also…yesterday, I was really devastated to hear about the death of Christina Grimmie. She was just so young—so young, so eager to live, so full of life…she had so much to give. And it’s just sad it was just taken away from her too soon. You just never know what’s going to happen anymore so just live life the best way you could, the way you know how, but don’t hurt or kill others in the process.
Life is so unpredictable these days, so you better chuck the negativity out (I mean, of course, I’d get mad every now and then, and I still have all my issues, but you know…) and just try to find yourself again. I’m on the process.
There are already so many evil people in the world—don’t be one to yourself. Share your story. Help yourself heal.
There’s this song that I often listen to these days—and it’s so beautiful, and it’s called Showing Up by Alex G. Here’s a link, and the lyrics are below…
I used to be so mean to myself
I am my own worst enemy
I used to hide my truth
From you
I can’t remember what it feels like
To come out of hiding
I-I-I-I’m ready
Coming out of the shadows like I’m enough
Loving every bit of the real I got
Every inch of my messy is beautiful
Something truly courageous in showing up
Singing
I-I-I-I’m showing up
I’ve never measured up
To my rules
My little, careful calculations
They shattered at the sight
Of my roof
That every thought could be loved by
You-ou-ou-ou
I’m not afraid now
I-I-I-I’m…
Coming out of the shadows like I’m enough
Loving every bit of the real I got
Every inch of my messy is beautiful
Something truly courageous in showing up
Singing
I-I-I-I’m showing up
No more believing I’m gonna need a little more than I got
Done over thinking every reason I gotta sit and watch
[x3]
Coming out of the shadows like I’m enough
Loving every bit of the real I got
Every inch of my messy is beautiful
Something truly courageous in showing up
Singing
Oo-oo-oo-oo I’m ready
I-I-I-I’m showing up
That’s all for now. Be back soon with more personal posts! Xx
