26 Things I Learned about Life

1. Dreams do come true! This year, I have published some novellas (The Path of Us, Stormy Hollow), and am working on my 3rd novella (a crime fiction one). This blog even got nominated for an award! I’ve always loved writing, and I’ve had novels here for a long time, but this year, I really decided to get onto it–to really join a class, write something, finish it, publish it. Years back, people would often say there is no money in writing (well, that is somehow correct), but hey, it’s not all bout the money–you write because you want to. And you’d feel a certain kind of fulfillment that would somehow remind you that you’re out here for a purpose, and that no one can tell you who you are–or who you’re supposed to be!
2. But, life’s not always easy. Just because some of your dreams have come true doesn’t mean everything else will. Life is challenging. And maybe, the fact that it’s challenging could only push you to do more–be more.
3. You can’t always get what you want. But as the song goes, you get what you need. And just because you know and appreciate your situation doesn’t mean you’re going to be stuck there forever. Who knows what could happen tomorrow? You just have to do something.
4. Some people will always appreciate you. One funny thing about life is that sometimes, even though the people you expect to support and appreciate you don’t, there are people who actually will. There are people who would often remind you that you are actually doing something worthwhile; that your efforts are still worth it.
5. And, well, some people just won’t. And that is okay! To hell with them. No seriously, don’t ever try to feel like you can please everyone. That would be your greatest downfall.
6. People grow apart. I always say this, and some people may think I’m awful because it’s kind of easy for me now to say goodbye to friends, but it’s just because, you know, people grow up, we all get old, we don’t believe in the same things anymore. Just because you’re friends today doesn’t mean you have to be friends tomorrow. When a relationship turns toxic, let it go. You don’t need that in your life.
7. But, it’s okay to miss people, too. Because missing people does not necessarily mean that you want them back in your life. Life is a series of little lives and sometimes, you just miss some of your other lives. And that’s okay.
8. You really can change a lot. I really am not the same person I was a year or two ago. When life breaks you, you really change a lot. There are days when I kind of miss the old me, but then…I don’t know. Life’s different then. Life’s different now. While some things were easier then, it really does not mean they’re better, so, you know…
9. You can’t judge people for not being extremely family-oriented. Because not all families are the same, duh. You never know how your words can hurt people, so be careful. Families could also break you–more than anything, and that’s something that would always stay with you. ALWAYS.
10. People with mental health problems are not the problems of this society. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and those two are pretty much the worst combo. And you’ll never really understand unless you have them. When you have that, there are days when you pretty much just want to kill yourself–but you hold on to the tiniest bit of hope you have simply because you want to live. I do wish mental health would not be treated with a stigma here in this country anymore.
11. Fake people are disgusting. Fake intellectuals, fake friends, fake “godly” people, fake animal lovers who don’t even rescue the poor ones and only go for the “cute” ones, etc. Don’t even get me started on this.
12. You do not have to label yourself. I still have no idea why our society is obsessed with labels. But you know what? Whoever you are or whoever you’re not is okay. You don’t have to explain yourself to people.
13. You can be intellectual and “masa” at the same time. I like Keeping up with the Kardashians–does that make me dumb? I don’t think so. People who like the “shallow” things does not mean they’re shallow. Intellect is not based on how one KNOWS about what’s going on in their country, but rather how one CARES, and actually tries to do something about it.
14. Your faith is your faith. Respect that. Respect other people’s, too–but never impose your religion on them.
15. Animals love unconditionally. SO LOVE THEM, TOO. Help them. Give them shelter. Donate. Give food. Try to make them feel better. If you can shop, why not adopt, too? There are so many animals out there who need help–and not just the cute, fluffy ones!
16. You can dislike what you used to like, too. One day, I just woke up not having the energy to queue posts on Tumblr anymore. That’s okay. I’ll come back one day. What I’m saying is…people change–you will change a little each day. Open yourself up to that. There is nothing wrong with it.
17. Sometimes…you’d feel like what you’re doing does not matter. There would really be days when you’d go in these existential crises where you’d feel like you just have no idea whether what you’re doing matters or not. It sucks. But you know what? It’s okay. It’s okay to question things. That means you actually care. Just take a little break (even a 5 minute one!) and remind yourself that sometimes…you would not really see what’s in the end of the road, but if your heart is still committed to what you’re doing, get on with it. You do not have to love what you’re doing every single minute of your life. No matter how much you love your work, there would be days when you’d rather not do it. But again, if you still have the drive, don’t quit.
18. Don’t let your life revolve around work. Up until a few years ago, I wasn’t this devoted to work, but ever since I found the work that I like, I’ve been, er, extra-committed to the point that I just have no idea what I’ll do with my life when I don’t have work to do (even if I make reklamo about it at times! haha!). Buuuuut, I am working on that. What I’m saying is, take a break–even little ones–even just afternoons at the mall. Do something that’s not related to work. Take classes. Create a blog! Read! Eat–whatever. Just do something.
19. But, take time to be lazy, too! IT’S OKAY!!!! Spend a day watching tv, surfing the net, whatever. Don’t let yoruself get burned out. (okay, this is an advice I have to take…)
20. We all have different lives. Some people find this hard to understand, but we just don’t live the same lives. So don’t give unsolicited advice, especially when one only wants you to listen.
21. Try to put yourself in others’ shoes. It’s such a cliche, but it’s true. That’s one of the ways you could understand others best.
22. A child does not have to define you. Right now, I really don’t want one because 1) my lifestyle just doesn’t fit with having a child, 2) just because you’re committed and living with someone doesn’t mean you have to be married or have a child, duh, 3) I have cats—lots of them and they are my babies, 4) I am pretty much damaged and I do not want to project all that anger to my child, and 5) I just don’t want to. I don’t know, maybe this’ll change one day, but if it doesn’t, that’s okay, too.
23. Live life at your own pace. Sometimes, it’s hard because you feel like you’re kind of in competition with everyone, but just live life the best way you can–at your own pace. It doesn’t matter whether the climb to the top is slow; what matters is you feel fulfilled!
24. When you’re a broken person, healing takes time. AND NO THIS IS NOT ABOUT LOVE. I’m talking about being broken–by your family, by society, I don’t know–whatever broke you. It’s your right to understand that you’re damaged. And just because you know that does not mean you’re not moving on. It does take time, though. Sometimes, especially when you have depression, your past creeps up and makes you feel fragile. It’ll take time especially if you’ve had a fucked up childhood (I’m not mad, it’s just the truth), so just live life the best way you can. Healing always takes time.
25. Sometimes…you never can really go home again. But you do wish you could.
26. You can always dream a new dream! Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you have to stop dreaming, or that you can’t dream new dreams. Life does not work that way. Work hard, and even those new dreams of yours may come true!